Saturday, May 11, 2013

Walking is My Super Power

Yesterday we saw Iron Man 3... I am convinced that if I ask my amazing hairdresser for bangs this week and purchase a black tank top I will look exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow.

We love superhero movies!  My husband has an impressive comic book collection...let's just say we know who the original members of The Avengers are.  Even though our boys are getting older, they don't mind going to superhero movies with mom and dad.  Superheros...it's what we do.

As we arrived at the theater yesterday, I was unexpectedly overwhelmed with emotion...a whirlwind of memories. You see, one year ago we came to the same theater to see a superhero movie only I couldn't walk.  I was using a wheelchair. I didn't like it, but I wasn't about to miss The Avengers (even though it didn't include all the original Avengers).

Even though I swore I would never take walking for granted, sometimes I forget to be thankful.  Walking...it's my superpower!


Saturday, October 6, 2012

In The Wee Small Hours of The Morning

I love the wee small hours of the morning!  Literally!  Early morning is when I feel most like my "old" self.  I'm at my best!  Most of the time everything works fairly well-eyes, hands, feet, voice, mouth, esophagus...yeah, I think about my esophagus everyday!

I also love the song-it's from the 50's-recorded by Frank Sinatra (and countless others).  It's on my Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack performed by Carly Simon. Go ahead...download it...it's Carly Simon for goodness sake!

I wake up early each morning so I have time to count out and take necessary medications.  I wake up early so I have time to prepare breakfast, lunch, and snacks for the day (the esophagus remember).  I wake up early so I can do one or two things to take care of my family.  I wake up early-while the whole wide world is fast asleep-and think...

I think about the girl I used to be and I miss her...but then I breathe and keep thinking.

I think about the day before me and I dream BIG...then I smile and make a realistic plan.
I think about family and friends and pray for loved ones near and far while I'm eating s-l-o-w-l-y. 
I think about the tasks I left undone the night before and notice that many are lovingly and imperfectly completed.
I think about what I can do...and then I do it!

I love the wee small hours of the morning!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Look! I'm Holding a Fork!!!

I knew something was wrong...

I tried to be optimistic.
I told people, "No, I'm okay!".
I woke up every morning determined to do everything I wanted to do.

But I knew something was wrong.

Evenings were the worst.  By the end of the day I couldn't talk very well, I couldn't walk very far, and I couldn't hold a fork.

It was heavy, awkward, ineffective...and did I mention HEAVY?
All of a sudden using a fork was difficult.  I had to concentrate on an activity that used to be automatic!  Why was this so hard?

When I was able to lift a forkful of food to my mouth it was hard to chew...and sometimes food would fall out of my mouth!

It was discouraging, embarrassing, and NOT sexy.
The fork became my nemesis...

That's why using a fork today makes me smile!  My family lovingly endures my joyful outbursts. They watch my fork twirling routines. They cheer when I use two forks at the same time! (Actually SuperDad cheers...the ABCs smile weakly, shake their heads, and whisper, "Stop WonderMom! People are staring at us!") I know they are proud!

Look!  I'm Holding a Fork!!!  It's kind of a big deal!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Choices

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted anything...I've been a little busy adjusting.

Adjusting to seeing a neurologist in a big city 500 miles away from home.
Adjusting to taking medication every few hours.
Adjusting to a deeper appreciation of the small things.
Adjusting to the joy I receive from holding a fork at night. (family joke and future blog topic)
Adjusting to doing EVERYTHING differently...


I have a disease called Myasthenia Gravis.  What? I know, right? I had never heard of it either-until a few months ago. 

Now I have to make choices. Yes, I have always made choices. I realize that we ALL make choices. But now, I have to think about my steps, my activities, my words, the weather...

Inconvenient? Sometimes
Frustrating? Occasionally
A blessing? Surprisingly YES

Today I chose...
tending flowers instead of washing dishes.
resting instead of a family outing in the heat.
laughing with my sister on the phone instead of complaining about missing family outing.

I don't always make good choices.
I over do it.
I tell everyone "I'm fine" when I'm starting to struggle.
I wear sparkly flat shoes that aren't very supportive.

I'm adjusting remember?









Sunday, April 1, 2012

This Is Ridiculous!

It's my new "life phrase".  It accurately describes my current situation while remaining positive, lighthearted and appropriate. After all... I AM constantly reminding the ABCs to "be appropriate". Other appropriate phrases I now use daily include, "Seriously!?!" "Oh CRAP!" "Thank you for picking that up." "Dang it!" "No, no, I can..do.....it....(sigh)... (eyes closed)...Thank you for doing that for me...(sigh)." 

Of course this post could not be a true Golden Lasso Tale if I didn't admit the TRUTH...Recently, I've had days where negative, heavy, inappropriate thoughts swirl in my head, roll down my cheek, or hang in the air above a broken glass. 

Ridiculous-absurd, comical, ludicrous, senseless, silly, foolish, stupid, fatuous, preposterous, nonsensical, senseless, outrageous.

"This is Ridiculous!"  
That's why I tried to ignore it.
 I tried to use my powerful, positive attitude to make it go away.
I didn't go to the doctor because I was going to be okay tomorrow...

Sometimes ridiculous things happen...
Sometimes I trip or fall down.
Sometimes I drop, well, everything.
Sometimes I can't multi-task...who am I kidding? I have lost this superpower.
Sometimes I am so exhausted that I can't do the things I love...or the laundry.
Sometimes I walk with a cane (like Yoda and Dr. House).
Sometimes my family gets frustrated when I leave my cane at home because I'm trying to walk without it and I get stuck.

Some of you are reading this and thinking...What???  Why didn't you say something??? 
Because I was trying to make it go away with my powerful, positive attitude!

I haven't written anything for a while.
I really didn't want to write about this...this ridiculousness.

Then I realized...this ridiculousness...is pretty powerful.

Powerful-fierce, passionate, ardent, strong, overpowering, overwhelming. important, dominant, compelling, convincing, persuasive, forceful.

I feel a new "life phrase" coming on...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

It's a Wonderful Life...but I Won't Help Ya Down

Christmas movies...I love them!  SuperDad loves them too...but only from Thanksgiving Day to New Year's Day.  That's one of our traditions...Christmas movies are watched ONLY during the month of December!  It's kind of a big deal!

We do however keep the spirit of Christmas alive throughout the year by using beloved quotes, quips, and moments from our favorite Christmas films. 

Here are just a few...

From Elf...the shaking of the Etch-a-Sketch-Used when you make special plans only to have them dismissed and you are deeply hurt but must act like it's no big deal.

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer..."This is man's work!"  Must be said in a deep voice while striking the Superman "fists on hips" pose. 

From A Christmas Story..."You used all the glue...ON...PURPOSE!"  (Glue can be replaced with any item your loved one used up ON PURPOSE).

From It's a Wonderful Life..."Help Ya Down?!?!"  Used when loved ones are asking you to do something they are completely capable of doing on their own.
For example: ABC 1, "WonderMom, can you grab a Dr. Pepper out of the fridge for me?"
WonderMom, "Help Ya Down?!?!"
ABC 1, "Okay, I'll get it."

Christmas movies can bring joy to the stressful situations in life.  Trust me...the tire is easier to change if you laugh about it first!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Our Tree

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How lovely are your branches...

Our tree is up, lit, and decorated!  It warms my heart!  It's absolutely perfect!

Even though my Amazing Boy Children are growing up, they still look forward to that magical moment when we open up the green plastic storage boxes filled with ornaments.

Our tree will never be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens or take someone's breath away as they enter our family room.  It's not color coordinated, or filled with exquisite ornaments, quite simply...it's an accurate reflection of our life...imperfect and joyful!

Our tree proudly displays EVERY ornament ever crafted by my Amazing Boy Children,  a red velvet bear playing a golden lute (hey, he's happy...hideous...but happy), a hand painted "First Christmas" ornament from my grandmother, Yoda, Spiderman, The Mystery Machine, angels, snowflakes, glittery footballs, special teacher ornaments from students that are now married with families of their own...

Like I said, our tree is absolutely perfect!